when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
