Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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