So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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