it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
