hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
