Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
