Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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