I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you inspire me to be a worse person
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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