i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
