She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
