One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
