She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
