the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
