Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just threw up on my dentist
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
