Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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