haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
