did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
