I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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