Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
