I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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