every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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