The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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