now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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