doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
