Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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