careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
