32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
