this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
