we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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