i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
