Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Text me some of your sweat
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