great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize