He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize