Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
