No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
