I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
