i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
