What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
