THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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