hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
