Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
