I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My hand turned me down
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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