I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
