I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
