I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
