she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize