Do you still have your period?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
