I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
