i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
