Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
