Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
