Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
