I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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