So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well you can't waste a boner
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This house was built for laser tag.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
