Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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