Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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