Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
