So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I cut my penus on the lid.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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